i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
