you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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