i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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