it wasn't lemon gatorade
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
