no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
