so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
