we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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