She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Houston, we have a blender
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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