my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
