Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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