I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
