how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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