Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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