Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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