hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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