I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
