yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Small penises have feelings too.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
