I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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