how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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