i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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