she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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