i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
