im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
