ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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