dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Randomize
