I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
