I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
