she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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