Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
