Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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