hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize