so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
