How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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