I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
