Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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