so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My pussy is not your playground.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
