I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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