I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
