Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize