I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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