i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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