i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
