i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I skipped work to stalk him.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
