i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize