so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Did I show you my penis last night?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize