they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
