I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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