So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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