Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
