Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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