Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
