we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
