how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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