Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
