No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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