none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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