Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
