So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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