I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize