I just saw a hot homeless man
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
