I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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