My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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