i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
