Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
